Interesting Questions-109
On live-in relationship and marriage
Letter to the Editor:
PASUGO, December 1995, p.2
MY LIVE-IN PARTNER has been invited a number of
times to attend your Bible study on doctrines. In the process, she
has come to understand your doctrines and is now inviting me to
listen. Through her I learned that your Church does not approve of
live-in relationships.
Personally I don't believe in marriage because it
is just a piece of paper. I know of many married couples who
have ended up separated. Their marriage did not work.
My live-in partner and I have a beautiful
relationship. We have been living together for more than 15 years,
outliving even the other marriages I know of. What could
marriage do to our lives. Do we still need it? We are happy
and content the way things are.
Roger Castillo
Butuan City, Philippines
Editor's reply:
Unlike beasts, human beings have
cultural institutions which serve as a civilizing influence.
Civilized man has created sanctions that act as restraints on his
behavior, thus further differentiating himself from the rest of
God’s creation.
One of these institutions is marriage.
This regulates society and limits procreation to those individuals
who have exhibited emotional as well as physical maturity.
Thus, marriage brings about legitimacy
not only in the relationship between the man and the woman but in
its outcome, the offspring. It is society itself that places
restrictions on sexual relations between individuals in the form of
matrimony. Any violation of this restriction usually results in
penalties.
On the other hand, for those who accept
the Bible as God’s word, there is even a stronger argument.
Marriage was instituted by God as the
only legitimate means by which a man may join with a woman in
conjugal love and by which they may have children (cf. Gen. 2:18-24; 1:28).
18 And
the
Lord God said, “It
is not good that man should be alone; I
will make him a helper comparable to him.”
19 Out of the ground the
Lord
God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and
brought them
to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called
each living creature, that was
its name.
20 So Adam gave
names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of
the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to
him.
21 And the
Lord
God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took
one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
22 Then the rib
which the
Lord
God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to
the man.
23 And Adam said:
“This
is now bone of
my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man
shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
they shall become one flesh.
(Gen. 2:18-24, NKJV)
28 Then God blessed
them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the
earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over
the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the
earth.” (Gen. 1:28, NKJV)
Marriage involves a holy contract or covenant
between a man and a woman, whereby they give themselves to each
other for life:
“So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Mt.
19:6, New International Version)
The act of cohabiting without the
benefit of matrimony is called fornication, a form of sexual
immorality according to the teachings of the Bible. What is the
problem with sexual immorality? The Bible says:
“Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man
commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of
sexual immorality sins against his own body. Don’t you know that
your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who
was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to
God…” (I Cor. 6:18-19, Today’s English Version)
The person who engages in sexual
immorality injures his own body. No matter how much pleasure is
derived through engaging in this kind of practice and no matter how
happy the individuals involved may be, the end will still be tragic:
“But cowards, traitors, perverts,
murderers, the immoral, those who practice magic, those who worship
idols, and all liars—the place for them is the lake burning with
fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” (Rev. 20:8, Ibid.)
[emphasis ours]
The failure of some couples to maintain
their marriage does not prove that the institution is itself a
failure—a worthless piece of paper. Nor does it make the practice of
cohabiting a valid alternative. The marriage contract’s validity
remains; however, ignorance of God’s principles and rules for a
successful relationship can only lead to disappointment, even for
those who get married.
How
then should individuals who seek to marry carry out this decision?
Taking into account that the good spouse is a gift from God (cf.
Prov. 19:14), one should, through prayer and mature deliberation,
make sure that the person one wishes to marry is of such faith and
character as to make a good companion and helper for life. It also
pays to understand that to marry someone is a serious and sacred
responsibility and that one should not get into it hastily under the
influence of passion.
___________________
Bible Study
Suggestion: If you have further questions, please feel free
to visit the
Iglesia ni Cristo congregation nearest you. A minister or
an evangelical worker would be happy to answer any biblical question
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Iglesia ni Cristo Locales and Congregations outside the Philippines,
please visit www.iglesianicristoworshipservice.com or just click
link at home page.