Interesting Questions-137

On child discipline

Letter to the Editor:
PASUGO, Juanuary 1996, p.3

I WAS BORN of very strict parents. A simple error would be equivalent to spanking beyond tolerable limits. Oftentimes I would think of leaving the house but the thought of what would happen to me hindered me.

I am a grown up now and the beating has gradually stopped but the scars it had left on different parts of my body continue to remind me of the pain I felt then.

Somehow, time has allowed me to escape the "'torture."  What worries me now is my little brother. He is receiving the the same treatment I had when I was his age.  I fear he is bound to rebel one day.

I know that children ought to be reprimanded of their mistakes but must it be to the extent of causing not only physical but hatred as well?   I know that ours is not an isolated case and so through your letters section I would like to reach out to parents―that they may be guided on the right way of disciplining their children.

Sandra Villanueva
Cotobato, Philippines

Editor's reply:

Disciplining errant children is a teaching of God written in the Bible which parents should do well to follow. The parent who disciplines an erring child loves him as the Scriptures attest, thus:

“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” (Prov. 13:24, New King James Version)

Parents should not let their children’s errors remain uncorrected, out of a mistaken notion of parental love, as the Bible points out:

“The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother .” (Prov. 29:15, Ibid.)

“Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.” (Prov. 23:13-14, New International Version)

The parent who truly loves his child disciplines him promptly. However, does it mean that at the slightest mistake, a parent should always be ready to give the child an indiscreet spanking? How should parents bring up their children? Apostle Paul teaches us, thus:

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4, NKJV)

Parents must always be ready to counsel, teach and advise their children, especially in the words of God. Punishment should be imposed only when it is justified and then, again, in proportion to the gravity of the error committed by the child. Why is this so? The Bible has this to say:

“Fathers, don’t scold your children so much that they become discouraged and quit trying.” (Col. 3:21, The Living Bible)

Too harsh a punishment, which is not proportionate to a child’s mistake, will leave a child with psychological scars that may deprive him of confidence later on in his adult years. Punishment should only be resorted to as a last recourse.

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Note: Some cited verses are printed in full to facilitate study.

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